You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So much Jack, so little girl.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
