the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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