I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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