I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
