You smell like a Billy Joel song
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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