One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I love you. Go after that dick
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
