I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
