This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Pants are for mortals
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
