so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
