So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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