just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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