spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
