How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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