Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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