I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
