HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
