i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
