did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
