dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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