ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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