Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
