Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
