I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
