She went from zero to smokin in five shots
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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