if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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