Already got asked if we're dating
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize