I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
