things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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