I want to make a zoo with you.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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