I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
