i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Drake has all the answers
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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