You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
