I have demons in me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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