I smell stomach acid.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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