it was like his penis was on wheels.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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