I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
