I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
