I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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