My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
