She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
