In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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