I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
