okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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