I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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