I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
