Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
