This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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