party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
