my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
