saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
