So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The struggles of a small town man whore
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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