we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
