Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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