dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize