Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
