I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize