Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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