i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
