Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Vodka?
Forever.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
