It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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